Today’s song isn’t anything like the songs I usually post. Believe it or not, I used to be really into Korean underground hip hop couple years back, and this remains to be one of my favorite songs by one of my favorite rappers (despite his tendency to make questionable life decisions). There are already multiple (bad) translations for this song out there, so I’m not going through the trouble of translating (I’m lazy). Also, I’ll try to keep this post short as I’ve gotten some complaints about the last one being too long (lol).
Having lived with my grandparents for the larger part of my life, death was a common topic at our dinner table; for every news of birth was ten news of death. It never bothered me, speaking of the dead. In fact, it was comforting in some ways to know that they were still being remembered by those around them.
I often ask myself odd questions, questions I’ll never get to know the answer to, and I have one that’s been bugging me for awhile that’s related to death: If I were to die right now, how long will it take, if ever, for different groups of people to find out? I suppose since it’s a Friday night, the first group to find out will be my coworkers, next Monday. Then it’ll be my landlord, and my family soon after. But what about everyone else?
Being able to keep in touch with others at literally the tips of our fingers has led to the under-appreciation of human interaction. Thoughts no longer spur conversation and we engage ourselves in constant meaningless talk that we forget how to genuinely be comfortable around someone, how to genuinely care for someone. If I stopped posting tomorrow, would any of you readers find out what happened? Probably not, just another blogger who came, stayed for a little, and left. If I stopped talking to people, will they find out what happened? Probably not, just Michael being Michael, he’ll be back, let him be. Perhaps I was never alive to them in the first place. Life will move on for everyone else, even if mine doesn’t.
And does that bother me? No. It’s comforting.
Happy Friday everyone .
Having lived with my grandparents for the larger part of my life, death was a common topic at our dinner table; for every news of birth was ten news of death. It never bothered me, speaking of the dead. In fact, it was comforting in some ways to know that they were still being remembered by those around them. I often ask myself odd questions, questions I’ll never get to know the answer to, and I have one that’s been bugging me for awhile that’s related to death: If I were to die right now, how long will it take, if ever, for different groups of people to find out? I suppose since it’s a Friday night, the first group to find out will be my coworkers, next Monday. Then it’ll be my landlord, and my family soon after. But what about everyone else?
Being able to keep in touch with others at literally the tips of our fingers has led to the under-appreciation of human interaction. Thoughts no longer spur conversation and we engage ourselves in constant meaningless talk that we forget how to genuinely be comfortable around someone, how to genuinely care for someone. If I stopped posting tomorrow, would any of you readers find out what happened? Probably not, just another blogger who came, stayed for a little, and left. If I stopped talking to people, will they find out what happened? Probably not, just Michael being Michael, he’ll be back, let him be. Perhaps I was never alive to them in the first place. Life will move on for everyone else, even if mine doesn’t.
And does that bother me? No. It’s comforting.
Happy Friday everyone .
시간 지나 먼지 덮인 많은 기억
시간 지나면서 내 몸에 쌓인 독
자유롭고 싶은 게 전보다 훨씬 더 심해진
요즘 난 정확히 반쯤 죽어있어
눈에 보이는 건 아니지만 난 믿은 것
그게 날 이끌던 걸 느낀 적 있지 분명
그 시작을 기억해
나를 썩히던 모든 걸 비워내
붙잡아야지 잃어가던 것
지금까지의 긴 여행
꽉 쥔 주먹에 신념이
가진 것의 전부라 말한 시절엔
겁먹고 낡아 버린 모두를 비웃었지
반대로 그들은 날 겁 줬지
나 역시 나중엔 그들같이 변할 거라고
어쩔 수 없이
그러니 똑바로 쳐다보라던 현실
그는 뛰고 싶어도 앉은 자리가 더 편하대
매번 그렇게 나와 너한테 거짓말을 해
그 담배 같은 위안 땜에 좀먹은 정신
어른이 돼야 된다는 말 뒤에 숨겨진 건
최면일 뿐 절대 현명해 지고 있는 게 아냐
안주하는 것뿐 줄에 묶여있는 개마냥
배워가던 게 그런 것들뿐이라서
용기 내는 것만큼 두려운 게 남들 눈이라서
그 꼴들이 지겨워서 그냥 꺼지라 했지
내 믿음이 이끄는 곳
그 곳이 바로 내 집이며 내가 완성되는 곳
기회란 것도 온다면
옆으로 치워놓은 꿈 때문에
텅 빈 껍데기뿐인 너 보단 나에게
마음껏 비웃어도 돼
날 걱정하는 듯 말하며
니 실패를 숨겨도 돼
다치기 싫은 마음뿐인 넌 가만히만 있어
그리고 그걸 상식이라 말하지
비겁함이 약이 되는 세상이지만
난 너 대신 흉터를 가진 모두에게
존경을 이겨낸 이에게 축복을
깊은 구멍에 빠진 적 있지
가족과 친구에겐 문제없이 사는 척
뒤섞이던 자기 혐오와 오만
거울에서 조차 날 쳐다보는 눈이 싫었어
열정의 고갈
어떤 누구보다 내가 싫어하던 그 짓들
그게 내 일이 된 후엔 죽어가는 느낌뿐
다른 건 제대로 느끼지 못해
뒤틀려버린 내 모습 봤지만
난 나를 죽이지 못해
그저 어딘가 먼 데로
가진 걸 다 갖다 버린대도
아깝지 않을 것 같던 그 때는
위로가 될만한 일들을
미친놈같이 뒤지고 지치며
평화는 나와 관계없는 일이었고
불안함 감추기 위해 목소리 높이며
자존심에 대한 얘기를 화내며
지껄이고 헤매었네 어지럽게
누가 내 옆에 있는지도 모르던 때
그 때도 난 신을 믿지 않았지만
망가진 날 믿을 수도 없어
한참을 갈피 못 잡았지
내 의식에 스며든 질기고 지독한 감기
몇 시간을 자던지 개운치 못한 아침
조바심과 압박감이 찌그러트려놓은 젊음
거품, 덫들, 기회 대신 오는 유혹들
그 모든 것의 정면에서 다시 처음부터
붙잡아야지 잃어가던 것
급히 따라가다 보면
어떤 게 나인지 잊어가 점점
멈춰야겠으면 지금 멈춰
우린 중요한 것들을 너무 많이 놓쳐
Damn, short and sweet haha. You nailed it. And you’re right. In our ability to talk to many people at once on various topics, it consumes us and becomes all we know. When we finally meet face-to-face with that one person we’ve been texting to constantly, we find that after all those exchanges, we don’t know each other after all. Communication issues come up and in the end, we go our separate ways. Maybe it was because of that one experience that had me slowly withdrawing from others and become even more quiet. Fading into the background is something I… Read more »
I’m so scared of oblivion. Btw why didn’t you translate the lyrics?